


at the heart of it all

by viktuuriousred (orphan_account)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Arrhythmia, Family Bonding, M/M, Revolution, mentions of mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-26 01:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18713497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/viktuuriousred
Summary: Victor, the Tsesarevich of Russia and all its kingdoms, loving husband to Yuuri, and first time father to Grand Princess Alice Katerina Victoria, would normally jump for joy at an opportunity to spend some quality time with his little family. But not under situations like this: one by one, his provinces are revolting, leaving no safe place for the royal family.Because of Yuuri's frail health, Victor decides to rebel from his family's plans to take refuge in a neighboring, polluted country, and instead takes Yuuri and their daughter to a small cabin in the countryside, unaccompanied by any staff. For the first time, the three of them are given the opportunity to spend uninterrupted time together without the burden of palace life on their shoulders. So why is it so difficult to enjoy?





	1. how it began

“The Tsesarevich requests for you to dine with him in his quarters.” 

Yuuri rolls his eyes (he is facing away from the servant) and internally comtemplates the necessity of using such words, when “your husband wants to eat dinner with you” would have been just fine. Victor’s room was adjoined to his. Why send a servant to to make the request instead of poking his head in and calling out the request himself? Nevertheless, he was happy to hear that the Tsesarevich had returned from his travels and met the servant with a bright smile. “Of course I will.” 

“Don’t get too excited, now, remember your heart.”

_ Remember _ , as if he could ever forget. 

Yuuri Katsuki spent most of his childhood in a metaphorical glass case. Born with defects, his heart threatens to stop beating should he forgo a special powder crafted by his godmother, or to beat out of his chest. But that is just the half of it. Being highly anxious by nature, he has the tendency to faint under high stress or when he is in fear. Or if he is exerted in any way. 

At least, that’s apparently how he was as a child, but his family never stopped taking precautions. 

When he met the Tsesarevich at aged thirteen, he began to ignore all of their precautions. He would sneak out and spend his days racing alongside the young prince and having adventures he never could as a young child. After he fell ill one winter, he came clean about his secret endeavors with the Tsesarevich and was forbidden from his outdoor activities completely… for his own safety, his family said. The Tsesarevich, however, visited still. 

Yuuri’s family lived just a few miles south of the royal family’s country home, where the Tsesarevich spent much of his adolescence due to his love of nature, hunting, and a certain peasant boy.

By and by, he fell in love. And oh, thinking about the Tsesarevich got his heart racing in a way his family found dangerous. He wasn’t feeling dizzy from nerves, it was love. But it didn’t matter what they thought. It was too late to turn back.

Two years later, Yuuri was asked to study at a member of the royal family’s home. She was actually looking for potential in Yuuri, and I suppose she found it. For the following year at sixteen years old, Yuuri was brought to the palace to begin his training among other potential consorts in the royal duties and palace life. But his health worsened in the confines of the palace, though it was really because he was anxious being in such a new place. At aged seventeen, he fell ill and nearly succumbed to his sickness had it not been for the Tsaritsa’s intervention. It was then that she took a liking to him and arranged for him to have his own suite to ease his nerves. The other potential consorts found it ridiculous that Yuuri was still being considered for consort, being that he slept in almost every day, ate more sugars and sweets than them and couldn’t keep up with anything the others did, be it their daily walks, lessons, or the schedule itself. Later that year, they were furious to discover that Tsesarevich Victor proposed marriage to Yuuri Katsuki, and he accepted wholeheartedly. That he was so excited he nearly fainted. They jokingly jested at him with the inquiry,  _ will you faint at your wedding, too _ ?

Only if Victor will catch me, he thought. 

(The proposal was not expected, shockingly enough. Yuuri was sitting in the palace gardens by a water fountain when he heard the Tsesarevich’s footsteps. He called out to him before Yuuri could see him to try not to startle him as much when he made his appearance. He hadn’t been around the palace in weeks.   
“Your Highness, I—” Yuuri quickly stood, brushing the dirt off the front of his robes from when he’d tripped earlier. “Forgive me, I know I shouldn’t be out at this hour.”

“You shouldn’t?” Victor grinned at him, edging closer. “Why?”   
“The Tsaritsa says the night air isn’t good for my health.”

“Then why do you come?”

“B-because I’ll admit I enjoy the quiet. The stars… and… and having time to myself, Your Highness. N-Not that I don’t welcome your presence. This is  _ your  _ garden, after all…”

“Do you like it? Admittedly it is one of my favorite places to be as well.” Victor strode past him, motioning for Yuuri to join him on a nearby cemented bench. Yuuri sits, leaving some distance between them. He only blushes slightly when the Tsesarevich takes his hand and holds it, resting it on his lap. “I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” Yuuri bites his bottom lip. “Ah… I forgot to tell you. I am going back to the country home at the end of next week. I know by then you will have chosen one of the consorts, and I have some recommendations for you.”

The Tsesarevich chuckled as he raised Yuuri’s hand to his lips, kissing it softly. “Mmhm?”

“The Duke of Omsk’s daughter, Natalia. She is the kindest. And Prince Romanovsky’s daughter, Edel, she is the prettiest. But I think you ought to choose Countess Inelda. She would be a strong leader for the kingdom.”

“Your words are true, but I’m afraid I’ve already made my decision, and I haven’t chosen any of those. I’m dismayed to find that we do not see eye-to-eye on who the obvious candidate for the position is.”

Yuuri’s shoulders slumped. He was humiliated to have guessed so terribly wrong. Who else would’ve caught the Tsesarevich’s eye? “Forgive me. I ought to pay more attention then.”

“That’s apparent.” The Tsesarevich huffed. “Why won’t you marry me? I was quite certain you loved me up until your name didn’t make it onto that little suggestion list of yours.”

“Y-Your Highness, I—” When Yuuri moved to stand, the Tsesarevich got onto one knee and presented him with a ring covered in precious jewels. “My parents already know and give their blessing. Won’t you give me yours?  _ Yuuri _ , love, don’t cry, I am earnest in my request. I have loved you since we were children and have never had eyes for anyone else. You’ll make me the happiest man in the world, won’t you? You’ll marry me?”

Yuuri’s shoulders shook as he wept, tears trickling down his cheeks towards his lips stretching into a beam, “Y-Yes… yes, I will… I—” He laughed in delight, soon after clutched his chest where his heart was so full he thought it might burst, and the Tsesarevich urged him to sit. “I’m sorry, it’s just… I’m so… mmnh!” And he took a chance in that moment, overwhelmed with his joy, and kissed the Tsesarevich right on the lips. He pulled back almost instantly, wide-eyed. “Forgive me, Your Highness.”   
And Victor leaned in close, cupping his cheek. He whispered, “I think, given the circumstances, you should call me Victor from now on. As you did when we were young.”

“I’m not sure that is proper. Especially since our engagement h-hasn’t been announced yet, or anything.”

“This isn’t proper, either,” The Tsesarevich leans in and kisses him for so long that his words ring true.)

The consorts moved out in the following days and Yuuri’s quarters were upgraded to his comfort in preparation for a long engagement. Another war was in full swing, delaying any celebrations until things began to calm down. 

After the announcement of their engagement and a celebratory banquet, the Tsesarevich went away for some time to supervise his army. Gone were the days that he and Yuuri would sneak out of their respective homes and explore the forest together. The Tsesarevich had to prepare himself for his role as future Tsar, leader of his entire kingdom, which grew bigger with every war. He stayed gone for the most of three years, while the Tsaritsa and other staff did everything in their power to strengthen Yuuri’s health, which did so poorly in the stuffy palace. He spent the warmer months at the country home, but his parents did not visit. By and by, his strength was gained, and he was able to return to the palace. He’d stay strong, they said, under one exception: he did not bear a child. 

The Tsar himself had yet to have a conversation with Yuuri during his stay at the palace. Unless Victor was with him, he ate in his private quarters. Sometimes, the Tsaritsa joined him or other members of the court. When Yuuri  _ did  _ dine with the Tsar, he was reminded repeatedly not to speak to him unless spoken to. He was given lessons in table etiquette beforehand. Told not to dare make eye contact. One evening, though, perhaps just a fortnight before Victor’s expected return, he was met by one of the Tsar’s personal staff in the hall who announced that the Tsar requested Yuuri’s presence in his quarters for supper.

Because he had only fifteen minutes to spare, he came in relatively informal clothing. He only had time  to fix his hair and put on an evening robe. Then, he was escorted to the Tsar’s quarters and accidentally met the Tsar’s eyes when entering the dining hall. He was seated adjacent to his wife, and thankfully, neither were dressed too regally. “Ah, there he is.” The Tsaritsa smiled warmly, motioning for him to enter after he bowed. “I apologize for the short notice. Please, have a seat beside the Tsar.”

The Tsar himself nodded towards the seat, and Yuuri hurried to sit. “Thank you, Your Majesty,”

The three of them eat in silence, Yuuri’s heart ringing in his ears for a few moments until the Tsar speaks. To  _ him _ . “My wife and I acknowledge that your marriage to our son will be taking place any day now.”   
“Y-Yes, Your Majesty.”

“And you have been a most dutiful student during this engagement, becoming fluent and proficient in the duties that come with being a consort of a Tsesarevich, and one day, a Tsar.”   
“It is an honor to be considered for the role, and I will do my best to serve your family through my—”   
“There is one thing we haven’t discussed yet. And I fear, this may be a factor preventing your marriage to our son.”

He looks up at the Tsaritsa, who wears a guilty expression. “You see, my dear, the Tsesarevich holds an important role. He is expected to one day rule all of Russia and its kingdoms. He is heir, and nothing strengthens a country more than having strong heirs to keep the royal family’s lineage running.”

“I understand, Your Majesty.”   
“Now, Vitya won’t always be the Tsesarevich. Do you know what that means?”

“He will one day become Tsar.” Yuuri replied.

“Correct. Now, what will become of the Tsesarevich title? Who would inherit it, then?”

“The Tsar’s child is the only one who can inherit the role of a Tsesarevich, or a Tsesarevna. So, Tsesarevich Victor needs to have an heir before he becomes Tsar, for the sake of this country’s stability.”

“I’m glad you understand that. Therefore, we cannot bless the marriage if you are not willing to produce an heir for our son. We understand it is dangerous for your health and we will not force you into bearing children. This is your chance to decide.”

“And if I try, but I can’t? Then what, Your Majesty?”

“If you are unsuccessful after marriage, a second consort may be chosen to bear the children.”

“If I refuse children, refuse to try… then I don’t get to marry Victor? Er— I mean, Tsesarevich Victor?”

“Unfortunately, no.” The Tsar said plainly. “It is up to you. I won’t give you my input on this. But I do need to know tonight so we can prepare promptly for whichever decision you make.”

“And we understand that this may be an overwhelming decision to make, so we apologize for that. We put this off for far too long.” The Tsaritsa added. 

“I… I am unsure. I think I’d like to speak with the Tsesarevich on this before I—“

“Unfortunately, that isn’t an option.”

“It is impossible to make that kind of decision without consulting my future husband…”

“We can assure you that our son wants only what’s in your best interest.”

Yuuri nodded. “...I will have a child with the Tsesarevich.”

“Not just any child,” the Tsar corrected. “An heir. We need a boy.”

“It doesn’t work like that, my dear,” The Tsaritsa whispered. 

(Tsesarevich Victor was a difficult pregnancy. There is a reason he doesn’t have siblings.)

.

Tsesarevich Victor came home from the wars when Yuuri was twenty, and they married just days later in a grand ceremony with a party lasting for days. There were more than five hundred guests. He left again after the celebrations, only to come back due to the harrowing news: Yuuri was with child.

The child was born in the late summer; the birth almost killed Yuuri. The important part of the labor was keeping him as calm as possible. After Princess Alice Katerina Victoria’s birth and christening, Yuuri hardly saw her. He wasn’t allowed to carry her to the Tsesarevich to show him. He couldn’t spend much time with her in fear of him becoming stressed. Because he had a daughter, they were in a battle to keep him alive until he could give birth to a son instead. He wasn’t allowed to be excited, so no fictional novels. No hearing news from the outside world. He was hardly permitted out of bed on most days. His life must be boring and calm to keep him alive. 

So again, he was sent to the country home whenever possible, sometimes with, and sometimes without his family. A calm life was the only thing that mattered, but little did anyone know how miserable he felt when alone. How much he longed to be with his husband and daughter and no one else. To run through the fields again as he once did. To be alive. 

That November, the Tsesarevich visited the country home against all advice to be with Yuuri for his birthday. Yuuri was repeatedly reminded to  _ stay calm  _ and avoid any and all passion with his husband.

But it was hard to stay calm around Victor when he loved him so much, and that is why they had to stay apart so often. They had separate quarters in the palace and could only sleep together if Yuuri was given relaxer powders to make him sleep and avoid his excitement. But it didn’t work well. It was frustrating to not even be allowed to kiss one’s husband in fear of his heart failing (or at least, that is how everyone acted). “Not too much, beloved, not too much…”Victor urged on some occasions when their kisses were less than chaste. “Remember to breathe…”

“Nn… No… I want to kiss you…” Yuuri grumbled in determination. “My heart will be still. It will beat only quicker if I cannot do this.” And that excuse is how Grand Princess Alice Katarina Victoria Nikiforova of Russia came to be in the first place.

***

Her christening was held just a month later to take advantage of the pleasant weather. Winter was coming and no one found it to be a good idea to hold an infant on a balcony where she’d be victim to the bitter cold wind. Yuuri wasn’t as weak as he’d been in recent days but was coming down with a cold, and clearly wasn’t ready for the christening. But he had to be there. It was a rare occasion that he and the Tsesarevich could be with their daughter at the same time. 

He made it through the two-hour long ceremony and all the standing and sitting and kneeling only by the grace of God and his motivation to continue standing at his husband’s side. When the ceremony finally ended, he thought he might cry. The Tsesarevich bent down and kissed the baby’s forehead, then smiled at Yuuri. “She’s so beautiful.” He said. The crying began.

They were led onto a balcony where below, their people waited to catch a glimpse of the baby princess. More people were here than before at the wedding, and Yuuri supposed it was because none of them cared about him; their interest was in the heirs of the country, not some irrelevant peasant boy as he. 

The moment he was within palace walls, his daughter was snatched from his arms by a servant. “You must go rest now, sir,” she said flatly. 

He looked to his husband for help, but the Tsesarevich was speaking with one of his cousins, that Prince— “N-No, I won’t. She’s tired. I’m going to take her back to my quarters and let her rest there.” Yuuri said to the servant.

“You are unwell, sir. I will take her to her nursery and she will sleep just as well there—”   
“No. Give her to me this instant. I want my daughter.”

The servant glanced warily over to the Tsesarevich in hopes that he might help her, but Yuuri beat her to it. “Victor, come here, please…”

He was there in seconds, and the servant’s face only got redder in anger. “What’s the matter, love?”

“I want to take Alice to my quarters, but this servant is trying to keep her from me.”

The Tsesarevich’s expression soured. “Who are you to hold authority over the parents of the Grand Princess? What is your name?”

“Lena.” She mumbled, eyes shifting towards the balcony.

“Lena, then. Hand over the baby.”

“This child is a half-blooded disgrace to Russia and all its kingdoms!” She shouted just seconds before bolting through the doors with the baby and attempting to hurl her over the balcony!

The Grand Princess would have been lost had it not been for the intervention of the Tsar himself, who was still on the balcony! He reached down and caught the Grand Princess just after the servant dropped her, and by then, she was surrounded by guards, screaming in protest all the way as she was dragged off the balcony. “Execute her immediately.” The Tsar ordered, but his eyes never left the baby. 

According to Victor, he’d never seen his father smile more than a handful of times in his life, but he smiled brighter than he ever had while holding his granddaughter. It didn’t last, of course, once she was handed off to her parents and he had to deal with the attempted murder, but in that moment, Victor could forget all about what just happened. Later, the Tsar told him that once the Grand Princess was able to walk, he wanted her to visit him as often as possible so he could spoil her.

The Tsar set the Grand Princess in Yuuri’s arms and said, “It is best that she is kept under constant surveillance from now on.”   
“Yes, Your Majesty, and that’s why I think she should sleep in mine and the Tsesarevich’s adjoined room. So we could both watch over her—”   
“No, no, that’s too risky. I will station guards outside her nursery. No one will come in or out unless they have been approved by myself. That is what we shall do to protect her.”

Yuuri frowned. “But, but—”

“Mila will be her new nursemaid. And there will be a guard inside the nursery to supervise this. Now, let’s get Alice away from this cold air.”   
“But!”   
“Where is our dinner? I should not be kept waiting!” He called to a nearby servant.

“ _ She’s my baby _ !”

The room was silent and suddenly the entire royal family was staring at him. Yuuri was too angry to care. “I- I know she’s a princess and needs to be protected but she’s  _ mine _ !  _ I’m  _ the one that will make decisions for her, and I want  _ her  _ crib to be in  _ our room _ !”

The Tsaritsa spoke for her husband, much to everyone’s surprise, saying, “After such a harrowing experience I am not surprised that you want to keep her close to you. You may have her for the rest of the afternoon, but after that we must enforce our new rule. It’s for everyone’s safety. Vitya, take him to his quarters with the child.”

.

“What were you  _ thinking _ ?” Victor hissed the moment they entered their adjoined bedroom. To the left lied a door leading to Yuuri’s quarters, and to the right, Victor’s. But this space was theirs to share. “Shouting at the  _ Tsar _ in front of everyone!”   
“He may be the Tsar, but to me he is just your father, and I refuse to have him make decisions for me!” Yuuri snapped back at him. “Y-You  _ saw  _ what happened back there! Someone who regularly watches our baby,  _ Lena _ , tried to  _ kill her _ ! How can I trust anyone in this palace again?! I’ll go mad with paranoia! I- I can’t live like this!” Yuuri tossed his crown onto a nearby chair. 

Victor sighed as he too, removed his crown. He motioned for Yuuri to sit beside him on their bed. “I know it’s hard. I know it isn’t fair. But we don’t have a choice in the matter, not in this house.”

“But  _ why _ ?”

“Think of your health. For the past month you have hardly had the strength to get out of bed. With a crying infant, you won’t get sleep. You will be exhausted. Your body won’t be able to properly heal, you may get sicker… this arrangement is for the best.”

“I won’t let anyone take her from me.” Yuuri said bitterly. “She’s  _ my baby _ …”

“I know, angel, she is your baby and it isn’t fair at all.” He wrapped his arms around Yuuri, who leans into him. Together, they hold  their daughter, and the stress of the day fades for that brief moment. “She looks so much like you,” Yuuri said softly as he nuzzled closer into his husband. “And the Tsar, too. He’s charmed, isn’t he?”   
“I’ve never seen that much love in his expression.” Victor agreed. “He’s very charmed. I think that’s a good thing. But who wouldn’t be charmed by this little doll?”

The afternoon was pleasant. With every peaceful moment that passed, Yuuri couldn’t help but to wish that his life was like this all the time. Just him, Victor, and their adorable baby daughter. But, as always, reality kicked in when the Grand Princess grew agitated and the Tsaritsa determined they had spent enough time with her. She was taken to the nursery, and Yuuri wouldn’t see her for another week as he soon was too ill and feverish to get out of bed. The Tsesarevich checked in every now and then, but he was often too busy to spend any real time with either of them. 

***

“The Tsesarevich is waiting, Your Serenity.” says the servant again, reminding him that the Tsesarevich had invited him to dinner. 

“Yes, I’m coming.” Yuuri finds the most presentable outfit he can and walks into their adjoined bedroom, and then to Victor’s quarters. He wonders if he’ll be returning to his own bed tonight. Victor’s mood is never predictable, so….

“Ah, there you are.” His husband is already seated at the small table in his quarters, and their dinner is covered. “I’m glad you could join me.”

“Did you need me for something?” Yuuri drags his chair closer to Victor. “Or did you just miss me? You could’ve come for me yourself.”

“I know, I know, let’s eat first.”

“Alright…” 

And so they eat. Yuuri talks about nothing important, because everything important that  _ is  _ happening to him is a secret, for now. And normally, it’s the same situation for Victor. But tonight, all of that will be changing. Once Yuuri’s at least halfway finished with his dinner, Victor clears his throat and says, “Now, love, we do have something we need to discuss.”

“And here I thought I was going to be wined and dined and slept with, now my husband wants to have a serious conversation? What did I do this time?”

“Nothing, nothing. You’re fine. Um… well, I don’t really know how to put this, but… there’s a bit of unrest in the country? And so I’m thinking, this summer I will send you back to the country home.”

“And you’ll come, too?”

“That’s the problem. We cannot go together… I just think it’d be better for you to be away from any possible unrest. And Alice would be in good hands, too.”

“What, she’ll stay here?”

“Eh, no, not quite…”

“I really hope you’re not implying that my baby will be separated from her family in some undisclosed location, because if so, this evening is over.”

“It’s safest that none of us are in the same place. Now, about you, if you’d rather go someplace else, anywhere, really, other than the country home—”   
“My baby will stay with me if both of us are forced to go anywhere, let’s be clear on that.” Yuuri stands, slamming his cup on the table. “And you’re a fool if you think I’d allow anything else.”   


“But you’re so weak!” Victor raised his voice. “How would you care for her, night and day? You can’t! You’ve never tried!”

“Good evening, sir!” Yuuri shouted back at him, slamming the door behind him.  _ I am not weak! _

“Are you finished with dinner, Your Highness?” Asked one of his personal servants on the way back to his room. But Yuuri stops in the adjoined bedroom and says, “Yes, I wish to be alone now, thank you!”

_ If only he understand how hard I’m trying…  _

It was an experiment of his, that he kept secret from all the staff and even his darling husband. He refused his various medications save for the powder that kept him alive. He began reading classic novels at night that made his heart race. He carried his daughter around while she slept and the maid was away. But around the others, he kept up his frail act until he was sure he was strong enough to tell everyone. Then, he would request permission to visit with his parents and introduce them to his daughter, because other than his wedding last year, he hadn’t seen them since he was fifteen years old.

And how could they refuse? He was excited about the chance, and his heart was handling it just fine.

“Are you still angry with me, baby?” Victor asks from the door, tiptoeing closer in case Yuuri says that he isn’t. “You can’t be that angry if you’re sleeping in here.”

“This bed is more comfortable.” Yuuri murmurs. Thank goodness it is dark, otherwise Victor might see him smiling.

“Why don’t you ask for your mattress to be stuffed, then?” Victor toes off his shoes and sits beside Yuuri on the bed just long enough to take his shirt off. Then, he’s under the covers with him, arms sliding around Yuuri as always.

“It’s not that.” 

“Mmn.” He kisses Yuuri’s bare shoulder and lingers there, “Then what is it?”

“My bed doesn’t smell like you.” 

.

Afterwards, the tension in the air has melted between them and only one single issue remains unresolved. “You said there is unrest in the kingdom?”


	2. traveling

“Your Highness, the Tsar requests that you meet him in his private study immediately.”

“Ga.” The Grand Princess added.

This woke Yuuri quicker than his husband, as no one ever brought his daughter to him. “Alice?” He asks, holding the blanket to his chest as he sits up. The Tsesarevich is still asleep on his stomach.   
“Ga!” She is being held by Mila at the door, already dressed for the day, but she looks a little unhappy.    
“If you don’t mind, Your Highness, the Tsaritsa herself said you must watch over Alice for a little while until Her Majesty and I are finished discussing some business.”

“Of course.” By now, Victor was untangling himself from around Yuuri, but he waited to get out of bed until Alice was with them. “G’morning, little Princess…” he says, kissing her cheek. And then, he dresses quickly and leaves the room, Mila in tow. Yuuri thinks nothing of it. He’s just glad for some rare alone time with his daughter. “Hi Alice,”    
“Mmm…” She glances around.   
“It’s just me and you this morning. What do you think of that, huh?”

In lieu of response, she simply crawled out of his arms and snuggled into her father’s pillow. Yuuri smiles at her and closes his eyes, keeping a hand on her back in case she decides to fall out of bed. 

They are left in peace for about twenty minutes until the Tsesarevich comes back into the bedroom. “Look, Alice,” Yuuri murmurs, “Papa’s back.”

“Glad you’re awake.” Victor says. His voice is shaking. “You need to get up now, though.” Before Yuuri can take his daughter, Victor already has her in his arms. He holds her close, and Alice appears a bit uncomfortable. 

Victor leads them to a wing on the other side of the palace that was typically reserved for guests. The view from here was solely the forest behind the palace. The rooms were much simpler than they were in the royal quarters. “We will be staying here from now on. There is already a nursery, Mila is preparing it now.”

“Why?”

Victor is distracted. There is worry in his eyes that he cannot hinder. Still, he tries to smile. “Why what? I thought you might like a change of scenery before you leave for the country home.”

“Does this have anything to do with the unrest?” Yuuri asks, keeping his eyes on the baby who scoots around the carpet, babbling to herself.

“Partly, um… but don’t you worry about it. We aren’t in any danger. The rebels are just a little louder outside our old wing of the palace, but everything is under control.”

“Where will Alice be sleeping?”

“There is a nursery on the next floor. I think that’s where Mila’s putting her.”

“Tell her to move the nursery onto this floor. In the room adjoining this one, that should do. I won’t accept anything less.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. It’s my father’s doing, really, he likes things to be a certain way. And since he will be staying on this floor, too, he won’t like being woken by Alice’s crying at ungodly hours of the night… her grandfather or not, he is still the Tsar and needs his rest, as do you.”

“I will sleep on the same floor as Alice, or I won’t sleep here at all.”   
“It’s not your decision to make.” Victor says firmly. He lifts Alice from the carpet and storms out of the room. “You will do as I say to stay safe, and stay alive!”

.

Supper was awkward in the new royal wing. The royals had no choice but to eat together, and Alice was included. She made quite a mess of her food which Yuuri was attempting to feed her and shoved her plate off the table at least twice. “Come on, Alice, I know you’re hungry. Eat a bite for me?”   
“I highly doubt that she can understand you,” came Prince Yuri’s grumble. Despite living in the same palace alongside his ill grandfather, the former Tsarevich, Grand Prince Nikolai, Yuuri had never actually had a conversation with the young prince and sought to stay out of his way. He could typically be found wreaking havoc in the west gardens and stables.

As if on cue, Alice took a bite of her food, grinning at everyone with her two little teeth.

“You spoke too soon, cousin,” Victor smirks. “My daughter is very smart. I wonder which of Europe’s many schools I should send her to to study…”   
“D...DA!” Alice shrieked happily, flinging a pile of mashed potatoes into Victor’s lap.

“Ah! damn it,” Victor stood so quickly that the chair nearly tipped over. The Tsar rolls his eyes, getting increasingly more annoyed. “Why can’t she eat in the nursery? Where’s Mila?”

“This is one of my best shirts!” Victor groans. “ _ Alice _ , do  _ not  _ throw food at Papa! That’s bad!”

“Well, I… I wasn’t made aware of our eating arrangements, Your Majesty,” Yuuri lifts Alice out of her chair, and despite the mess that she is, holds her close as she fusses. “We will both finish our dinners in the nursery.”

.

After Alice finishes her dinner on the nursery floor, Yuuri bathes her and prepares her for bed. By then, he can hear doors closing in the floor below and assumes everyone else has finished eating. He is seated with his daughter dozing on his chest when he is met by Prince Yuri. “Wrong room.” He whispers to the prince.   
“No, not the wrong room. What were you thinking, bothering the Tsar like that with that baby? He likes her, but not  _ that  _ much. He’s stressed enough as it is.”

“Is it a sin for me to want to eat dinner with my daughter? I had no idea that we’d all be dining together. Believe me, if I knew, I wouldn’t have come.”

“It’s not like you ever eat with your baby anyway. What are you trying to prove?”

Yuuri frowns, glancing down at his baby until Yuri clears his throat, clearly expecting an answer. “Well?”

“Leave me alone, Yuri.”

“No, I won’t. Answer me.”   
“I don’t have to answer to you. Even my daughter ranks above you, Yuri. You’re the one that should be answering to me.”

“Are you kidding right now?” After closing the door, Yuri strides into the room wearing a devilish grin. “You  _ have  _ no title. You’re a  _ consort _ . Your duty is to spread your legs and give the Tsesarevich lots of little boys. And you can’t even do that. You know why everyone’s arguing on the streets? Because they know the empire’s gone to hell, and you’re partly responsible for that. Pretty soon, the Tsar’s gonna have to do something to calm them down. Some court members have told me they suspect he’ll exile you to the country home or something, maybe with the baby. Then, he’ll find the Tsesarevich a better consort and everything will be restored.”

“You lie.”

“You think I’m lying? Ask your darling husband. He was there while the subject was discussed.”

.

Victor’s only slightly concerned when Yuuri doesn’t come to bed that night. At first, he thinks that maybe Yuuri fell asleep in the nursery. But when he isn’t found there, he starts to get concerned. Why would Yuuri go back to his old room? Whatever the reason, that is where Victor finds him, and soon discovers said reason when he notices the large bag on Yuuri’s bed.

“Yuuri?”   
“I’m running away.” Yuuri explains matter-of-factly. “Before I can be exiled and have my entire family name put to shame. You can tell the public I was kidnapped and murdered.”

“Exiled? What do you mean, exiled?”   
Yuuri shakes his head. “Anyway, I’m leaving tonight and I’m taking Alice with me. I don’t trust her in the care of anyone else.”

“So, you’re leaving because you’re exiled, or are you leaving just to prove a point to the Tsar because he scolded us at dinner?”

“Yuri told me everything. About why the people are protesting. He said it was all my fault.”

“ _ Yuri _ ? When have you  _ ever  _ talked to Yuri?” Victor edges closer. “Come on, put that away and come to bed. None of this is your fault—”   
“Is that why Lena tried to kill our baby? Because she’s half-blooded??”

“Whoever thinks that is ignorant! None of their opinions matter!”

“Look out the window and tell me that no one’s opinion matters! The Tsar wants me  _ exiled,  _ Victor, don’t _ lie to me _ !”

“You want the truth? Fine! We’re all fleeing the damn palace because any day now the rebels are going to bust down these doors and have all of our heads! My father needed an excuse to get you out of here without causing much of a fuss! If you will be exiled it’s only to save your life!!!”

Yuuri wants to be frightened. He wants his husband to reassure him and go willingly to the country home as instructed. But all he can feel is anger. “ _ I won’t go without you and Alice _ !”

Victor sighs, pressing a hand to his head. “If you come with me, we are going to London.  _ London _ , my love. The air is so filthy there that you wouldn’t live a month without dying from some wicked illness. The country home is the best option for your health.”

“Then why won’t you go with me?! Why??”

“My father would never allow it.”

“W-Who cares what your father says?”   
“Yuuri, he’s the Tsar.”

“And I’m your husband!”

A certain teenager burst into the room, a crying princess in tow. “Would you two  _ shut this thing up,  _ please??!” Yuri shouted over their noise. “It’s been crying for like ten minutes, and I’m about to throw it to the rebels.”

“And you! What right do you have talking to the Tsarevich like you’re someone of importance!” Victor scolds the young prince. “Apologize to Yuuri. You know  _ damn  _ well he isn’t at fault for this mess.”

“I’m surprised you find it so easy to lie to someone you supposedly love.” Yuri approaches his alleged superior and places the infant in his arms. “She stinks.”

“Just get out of here,” Victor rolls his eyes, mumbling under his breath, “I hope  _ you  _ get exiled.”

And so, the three of them return to the nursery where Alice is changed and put back into her crib. “Where  _ is  _ Mila? She’s hungry…”

“I haven’t seen Mila this evening. Perhaps she’s busy elsewhere.”

“How can she be busy elsewhere? Her only job is to take care of Alice…” Yuuri picks up a bottle he finds by the crib. “Hm, I guess this is leftover…”   
“Wait, don’t feed her that.”   
“Why not? She’s hungry!”   
“This wasn’t here earlier.” He twists open the bottle and sniffs it. “Get my father. Quickly.”

***

“The country home is out of the question at this point.” says the Tsar. “We must all go to London together, as soon as possible, and decide from there.”

“Yuuri can’t go to London,” Victor protests immediately, “the air would kill him.”

“I have made my decision. You, Yuuri, Alice, and Katherine all leave at dawn. I will stay for some time more, and I will send Yura and Nikolai to Kazahkstan to work on strengthening our relationship with the Prince there…”

“Mikhail…” the Tsaritsa almost-whimpers.

“Pack up, all of you. And then get some rest. You’ll need it.”

.

Alice sleeps between her parents for the first time that night, but both her and Yuuri are woken long before dawn by Victor, who urges Yuuri to be silent and follow him to the royal stables. He bundles himself and Alice under a long cloak and does as told. They exit the palace through the servant passages. At the stable, there are two coaches, both plain to avoid suspicion. They are supposed to take them and the Tsaritsa to London in a few hours, so…

Victor opens the door to one of the coaches. “Come on in. It should be comfortable enough.”

“Where’s your mother?”

“Ah… we can’t leave together.” 

“Oh… alright.”

Yuuri made Alice comfortable on one of the plush cushions in the coach and got cozy himself, but not until after he saw the protests close up. People with torches, chanting and tugging at the palace gates. What were they so angry about?

.

Yuuri wakes to the sound of rain hitting the window and is glad to find that Victor is now asleep beside him. They are at a traveler’s port, somewhere… but how will they get to London by coach? It could take weeks.

“Victor..”

Victor stirs, but doesn’t respond. Smiling faintly at how similar Alice and Victor look in their sleep, he stoops down and kisses Victor’s forehead. “Victor.”

“Huh.” He says, eyes shut.

“Where are we?”

“Dunno. Far from the palace, though. Told ‘em my name was Mikhail an’ I was headed to my brother’s house.”

“What’s my name, then?”

“Didn’t tell ‘em.”

“Do we have food with us?”

“No, I was worried it was poisoned but you can go buy some, there’smoneyinmysatchelalrightloveyougoodnight.”

“Alright, I will.” Yuuri adjusts the blanket over Victor and their sleeping daughter, then adds, “Bring her out to me if she starts crying.”

“Mmhm.”

It is strange, being in the outside world without guards posted at his sides, or staff urging him to go back inside for his heart’s sake. No, Victor trusted him to get them something to eat without worrying about his health. 

And so he walks with an air of confidence to the market and is thrilled when no one recognizes him. To be fair, he was only ever seen from the balcony of the palace and his only distinguishing feature is his hair, which is covered by the hood of his cloak currently. 

He takes his time shopping for breakfast and avoids making eye contact with anyone. They  _ could  _ have been followed, after all, and since they have no protection out here, that puts them in a danger. But it’s also so liberating. 

By the time he returns to the coach, Alice is awake and watching her father curiously. “Are you hungry, Alice?” Yuuri asks. “I’ve got some applesauce for you, I know Mila said that’s your favorite.”

Alice climbs over Victor and hesitantly accepts Yuuri’s offer to hold her. She sits in his lap while he feeds her the applesauce. “I’ve no idea where we are, Alice, but the weather is pleasant today despite it being only March. I wonder if it’ll be this pleasant in London? Soon enough, we’ll get to the coast and sail all the way there, little one. I hope you’ll behave yourself.”

Alice makes a face one might interpret as, “I’d rather not take a boat ride, please.”

“I know. I wish we could all go to our country home together. Me, you, and Papa, and maybe Grandmother because I don’t have a grievance with her. But the rest? Oh, I’m thankful the Tsar sent them elsewhere.”

“Airing your grievances with an infant, are we?” And just like that, Victor is awake. “Can’t say I blame you. Alice is a good listener.”

“Yes, she is.” Yuuri smiles. “Gosh, she looks so much like you. It’s lovely.”

“You kidding? When she is unhappy with her dinner choices and makes that face of hers, that’s all you, darling.”

“What face?”

“That face you make whenever you don’t get what you want.”    
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” says Yuuri, making the exact face that Victor is referring to. Before Victor can laugh at him, Yuuri kisses him. “That should shut you up, Your Highness.”

His face turns pink, and Yuuri is satisfied. 

“You know, this little port reminds me of the place we stopped at on our honeymoon, when we went to Vienna.”

“Clever man.”

“But we arrived by train, back then.”

“Even more clever.” Victor cannot hide his smile any longer, confirming Yuuri's suspicions of where they're going.

“Are we going to our home near Vienna??” Yuuri cries excitedly. “Oh, my god! It was so secluded, with a beautiful view of the Alps! And now that there’s no staff with us… oh, it’ll be perfect!”

“I chose that home because not even my parents know that I bought it. I’ll admit it’s a bit too rustic for my taste, but I thought the mountain air might be good for you.”

“So wait… if we’re not going to London, will that get us in trouble?”

“Probably. But I don’t care. I refuse to send you there, Yuuri. I’ve had friends of mine becoming very ill from London’s polluted airs, and you haven’t even done well in the palace. You always tend to do better at the country home, so…” says Victor.

“I… I must thank you for putting yourself at risk for my sake.  I’m sure this won’t look great to your father.”

“He knows I’m not taking you to London, but there’s nothing he can do about it.”

Yuuri tilts his head. “Is he not the Tsar?”

“He is, But perhaps he won’t be for much longer if the revolution progresses. Then, he’ll just be a very rich old man, and you and I can stay at the country home together and raise Alice ourselves.”

“Oh, I think I might faint from joy… this is a dream come true!!!”

“How about you just kiss me instead?” Victor chuckles, pulling Yuuri into his lap. And indeed, a few kisses were stolen while they finished their breakfasts; but the mood was soiled when Yuuri was asked to take his medications. The powder, he dutifully obliged, but the other mediations, he denied. “The truth is, I haven’t been taking them. Any of them, other than the powder. Since November. I don’t need them.”

“What…? You haven’t—  _ Yuuri _ .”   
“I’m  _ fine  _ without them! I mean, look at me, I’ve hardly gotten sick at all!” Yuuri flails his arms. "I've gained weight too, don't you remember what the doctor said? How I was gaining strength and doing so well...?"

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?! D-Don’t look at me like that, do you know what you’ve done?? Now, we have to go back to the palace to get them!” Victor is seething. Yuuri has seldom ever seen him so angry, and never at him...

“No, we don’t! I told you, I’m fine without it! We can’t go back now.”

“You’re a fool, Yuuri. I suppose you haven’t been taking your contraceptives, either?” 

“I’m not  _ that  _ foolish, Victor. I still take them every time.” Yuuri folds his arms over his chest. He still feels that in a few more years, when he is confirmed healthy, that he should stop taking them and maybe...

“Good. Don’t you dare stop, or I’ll never touch you again.”

***

Late that day, they arrive at a train station in a very small town that typically does not find itself gaining passengers. Rather, it’s a place for the drivers to get more supplies or a bit of rest themselves. Still, they purchase tickets anyway and find themselves in a cabin inside. Fortunately, there aren’t many people on this train, but they will be very careful over the next five days as they make their way out of Russia and into Austria. 

Unfortunately, Alice hates the train. With a burning passion. She spends her nights crying and squirming around so much that Yuuri has no choice but to sleep in the observation car, which she enjoys. They  _ would  _ try to alternate, but Alice refuses to be held by Victor when she is upset. She doesn’t want Yuuri either, but the infant has figured out that she doesn’t really have a choice and there is something about his presence that screams familiarity, even though the only person she wants left her. 

By night 4 with no sleep, Yuuri can no longer upkeep his patience. At lunchtime, Yuuri tries to ask victor to change Alice’s diaper. Victor, nose in a book, declares that since Alice doesn’t like him, he shouldn’t have to. 

“Shouldn’t have to?” Yuuri repeats. “ _ Shouldn’t have to _ ?  _ You  _ put her in me!”    
Victor looks up from his book. “And?”

“And?? I carried her on my own for  _ nine months _ ! I almost  _ died  _ when she was born, your  _ mother  _ almost died from exhaustion just trying to save my life! And what did you do?  _ Nothing _ ! So tell me why you shouldn’t  _ have to _ !!!” With that, Yuuri exited the cabin, sliding the door shut with a bang. 

When he comes back some time later after eating in the dining car, he is cooled off a bit but still cross with his husband’s words. Alice is asleep in a nest of blankets on the floor. Her diaper is on backwards and put on terribly, but she is changed, nonetheless, and it looks as if she was fed as well. 

“I don’t know how to change diapers.” Victor admits almost immediately,  “But that’s no excuse not to learn. So I tried.”

“And you put her down for a nap?”

“Well, that part was easy. After she ate, she got sleepy. So I just piled the blankets up and laid her on them, and she fell asleep on her own.”

“Huh. I won’t say I’m proud of you, because this is basic stuff you would already know how to do if we were a normal family, but… I am glad that she is taken care of.”

Something about the way Yuuri said “normal family” makes Victor’s heart pang, but he says nothing of it, because Yuuri is right. They  _ aren’t  _ a normal family and it is likely that they never will be. 

Yuuri was raised in a normal family, but he never had a normal life. From birth, he was kept in a cage, and Victor thinks that the Katsuki’s took too many precautions. While it  _ was  _ confirmed by the royal doctors that Yuuri has an irregular heartbeat, they did not recommend him refraining from all physical activity. Rather, they said he  _ should  _ get light exercise. He  _ should  _ enjoy his life, still. But he was so sickly at the palace. The doctors assumed part of it was because he had never been around so many people before and his immune system couldn’t keep up. 

He did well at the country home, though. So well, that it felt like a punishment to bring Yuuri back to the palace during the cold months of the year, seeing the color fade from his cheeks in just days after coming home. He wanted a happier life for Yuuri. Until now, it didn’t seem possible. 

“Yuuri…?” He breaks the silence after a while, once Yuuri is settled in the window seat.   
“Yes, love,” Yuuri responds. Despite the endearment, his expression doesn’t match it. 

“I...I just wanted to apologize. For what I said earlier, about how I shouldn’t have to change her. I shouldn’t have said such a thing, it was very wrong of me. And I think you’re right, I  _ should  _ have to do things like change her and give her a nap, normal family or not, Tsesarevich or not. She’s still my daughter before anything else. So I’m sorry.”

“Mmm… apology accepted, but you aren’t forgiven until I see you acting like you mean it.”

“Well, I can’t argue with that, darling.”

And so, for the rest of the day, Victor tries his best to entertain Alice, but it’s true: she really doesn’t like him. By nightfall, Yuuri is close to tears when Alice refuses to sleep in the cabin. She took her naps there just fine during the day, but now she acted as if she’d never been so uncomfortable. 

“Are you… crying?” Victor asks at close to midnight. The cabin is very dark, but he can hear Yuuri’s sniffling. 

“I’m so  _ tired _ … she won’t sleep. I’ve changed her, fed her, rocked her, but she won’t…” Yuuri stifles a sob. “I just want one night of sleep!”

Victor shoots a wary glance in the fussy infant’s direction, sighs, and pushes himself up onto his feet. “I’ll take her to the observation car for a little while, see if I can get her calmed down.”

“You will?” Yuuri asks, eyes already shut by the time Victor picks up Alice. He was nearly asleep before the father and daughter arrived in the observation car. 

They arrive in Vienna late the following morning. From there, it’s a half a day’s trip to their honeymoon cabin, a trip that Alice doesn’t want to take. The moment they’re off the train, she wants to go, go, go. Yuuri finds a small park nearby and Alice spends much of her time crawling back and forth across the grass; a feat she never experienced while living at the palace. So when it is time to leave, she wails, heartbroken at needing to be separated from the grass. Yuuri reminds himself that once they arrive at their temporary home, she’ll have plenty of time for playing, too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be back with more in a few days :)

**Author's Note:**

> Notes:  
> Tsesarevich: Oldest son and heir apparent to the Tsar— commonly confused with "Tsarevich", but that title can be used for any son of the Tsar/Emperor.  
> Tsaritsa: Wife of the Tsar. While historically the Tsar began being referred to as Emperor after the 1700s, in this AU we are still referring to the Emperor/Empress as Tsar and Tsaritsa.  
> Tsesarevna: Yuuri's "technical" title given at his wedding (for wife of the Tsesarevich or oldest female child of the Tsar), but it was decided later to change it to Tsarevich instead, at the Tsesarevich's request.  
> Grand Princess: Their daughter's title, reserved for daughters of the Tsar or daughters of the Tsar's son. Sometimes translated as "Grand Duchess".


End file.
